Musings by Shar

Before last night, I went through a phase where I couldn't write and it wasn't for lack of trying. I had so many things I wanted to put down and share but I couldn't sit down and concentrate for longer than a few seconds at a time ... up until last night. Taking advantage of this opportunity, I realized that it would be the best time to put this year into retrospect in the last entry of 2012. First, the reason I started this blog was because I was ready to take ownership of my life and more importantly, put what I couldn't say into words as a way to help me deal and move on from my troubles. At the beginning of the year, I was dealing with various emotions from anger, sadness, frustration, confusion and many more. I had been hurt by people I had thought to be so dear to me and it was an imaginable pain that I couldn't really deal with verbally. So many emotions were running through my being and for a time, I really didn't think I would be able to see the...

44 days ago I would have never thought that there would be good news to share. I guess in time of great despair you hope for the best while the vision before you conveys the opposite. Through prayer and positive thinking a blessing came unto us. After 44 days my sister woke up. This was the best news we could have received after anxiously waiting for news of improvement. At a time when I had lost hope, my faith was renewed and my prayers had been answered. This moment showed us that when we want something so bad, do not give up home and faith. While it took 44 days for our prayers to be answered, the lesson learned from this is that you don't stop believing in the Lord because he will answer your prayers in time. What it taught us that it takes times time to carve a miracle. It takes time for God to anwer your prayers despite how hard you may pray and how long you are on your knees. He doesn't act instantaneoulsy. He waits and acts in good measure to deliver what you ask ...

Falling in L.O.V.E. … should be something great. It should be one of the many moments in life that a person smiles endlessly, sighs continuously and won't keep quiet because of the infinite butterflies in their stomach, and the constant tingling that makes them all fuzzy and warm with happiness. And for me, maybe... just maybe, this is the start of something new...unfamiliar and unknown with no holds barred ... (mostly). With the fear of the unknown, any woman yearns for the opportunity to have just that one person who is going to walk with them on that path known as "falling in love". No person wants to be caught in a situation where they have to choose between more than one suitor because that shit gets dangerous and ugly. It also becomes so complicated that even you yourself just get tired of even being there. Trust!! You yearn for the chance to love whole-heartedly and be able to give yourself to them without the fear of "what if" in the...

When I first read this message...I was in disbelief and then I started smiling. I was grinning the whole way home and I read this message like ten times over. He took a stab at writing and I have to say, he was pretty good at it. For a first timer! :) Feeling as though I am back in high-school and experiencing that school-girl crush makes me elated. We are both very expressive and I really appreciate it - knowing that we can talk about everything and anything. And it feels amazing! Knowing that I can never get bored because there is always something to discover.  My Baby, I'm flattered and happy at how you feel about our state/...relationship/you and I being together. Since we started getting to know each other more I have experienced things I haven't before and witnessed attributes which I think are compatible to mine and I could be very happy with. And one of the best things about that is you are just being yourself (the thought..."Is this the one you have been...

"I know what I want. I know if I had it my way, I want a man that loves me, cherishes me, values me. But they have to know my value in order to value me. They have to know my worth and they can only know my worth if I know my worth. I want him to respect me but I want fun times. I just want to laugh. I have everything else; all I want is a partner in crime to enjoy it with me." - Robyn "Rihanna" Fenty This struck a chord with me because it is just a simple wish for any person to have. In her fame, what she truly wants is a man who loves and appreciates her for who she is and not what fame has made her (Chris Breezy!). I want what she described above. And I know that now, especially after the year I have had and the time I have taken out to re-evaluate my life and get myself back to knowing who I am and loving myself the way I deserved to be loved. I have realized what I am looking for in a person - the person who I can call "my person" -...