Musings by Shar

I gave my heart a long time ago. And it took me the longest time to realize the error of my ways. Denial is the strongest potion against what is true and real; yet, when you spoke the words, I heard you, but I wasn't truly listening. Now, I hear the echo in my memory, like a constant song on replay. If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't be in this moment. This derelict moment.  "If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing; Even if you're scared that it will cause problems; Even if you're scared that it will burn your life to the ground. You say it and you say it loud And then you go from there."  - Mark Sloan, Grey's Anatomy I love you. I've always loved you. And in the darkest hours, I still love you. 

I think when most people look back and reflect on the big changes that affected their lives, they usually think of the happiest moments - like finding love, or giving birth, or an engagement or a wedding. Never so much the bad moments because of the pain suffered - that moulded who they are. Those moments are not thought of much despite being critical. Yet, they are only to make the roster when someone is bathing in their misery - a time that calls for an overload of sadness. The thoughts never make the cut when people thing of the big life-altering moments because they were too painful to face. And while some run away from them, I embrace them because not only did they teach me life lessons, but they have made me into a better person. I feel as I deal with the cards dealt. I am a better person having known you despite what took place between you and I - not Us. Your resilience taught me to never give up on things dear to my heart, and only to give in when I have met a dead stop wi...