Musings by Shar

Through many of life's challenges the outcome is always (alteast it should be) the same --> GROWTH. Whether it’s experiencing pain, conflict, fighting, arguments, power struggles etc at the end of it all in order to gain control of oneself there needs to be GROWTH. The reason this is vital in relationships is simple: if something is not progressing, it’s stagnant.   Every person deserves to experience love, intimacy, connection, romance and a fulfilling loving relationship. And often people get lost either looking for this in a relationship or chasing after it in a relationship they want. But a lot of times, choosing to work on ourselves and not focusing on this chase may just be the solution to finding the right relationship. Attraction is in more ways than one directly linked to expansion; the people we are attracted to serve as our mirror, exposing the aspects we chose to deny. In a sense our relationships with others represent our relationship with ourselves.  I...

How can I trust you when all you have ever proved to be successful at was hurting me? As I am getting back you, you always seem to do it better than the last time. I see the fault in myself despite knowing the person you are. Your actions never seize to surprise me, and while I expect them, I always try to give you the benefit of the doubt. Why? Because, for one damn time, I want you to prove me wrong and fight. Fight for me. Fight for us. But i can't event trust you to do that part.

Sitting here thinking about the time - so long ago now - that first time you came to visit. I couldn't believe it was actually happening, let alone that I was your sole designated attendee at that train station that one summer afternoon. Time is fickle like that. You had your reasons for visiting, which I didn't really find out until the end and after your visit. You came to me one-half of a puzzle. The other half in the wings. To say that you had come for me to see you on your big jet plane would be a misconception. Again, it was to your beat. Your drum. Not we. Not us. Just you. But you had someone already waiting in the wings. I am hurt and upset at the fact that we don't talk. We never really talked since that other time. It was more "surface" than deep conversations like before. When I thought you were hearing me during our walk in the promenade, you heard nothing at all. I asked for slow and I got something other and that hurt. Feeling betrayed,...