Musings by Shar

10:55AM and the date is December 31st. As the clock slowly ticks and the time moves towards the the end of another beginning, I sit and wonder if I accomplished everything I wanted to since 2012. 1) My family is healthy and my baby sister is making great progress. 2) I have a sweet boyfriend. 3) I have a job which I hate but currently working on getting a new one. 4) I am surving. I think I summed up my year so far. Not to mention that I started taking acting classes, signed with a modeling agency (which has done shit for me since) as well as an acting agency, I competed in this outrageous modeling talent showcase (where I was the biggest girl there) and didn't make it far asides from two ceritifcates which told me that my future lies in acting and not modeling. I auditioned for an ABC Network show and didn't get the part but this only fuelled my desire to make it in this industry. I was told I am too "green" and need more practice. Hence I am signed up to take...

A broken-heart is something that I am sure we have all encountered in some form. Whether it was a rejection in grade school, or the humiliation and emotional roller-coaster in high-school or the shattered experience with that college boyfriend who you thought was your soul-mate. What more when you become older? Well, you become a cynical and bitter person who faines/shows disdain and disgust at the mere sight of a couple holding hands or practicing the art of PDA. What then for you huh, when you are the broken-hearted due to the reasons of your blindness and knowing submission to fault? But then while you go around in your world, and moving on to the next – what more I ask, does a little girl recovering from a brain injury and living in a world far from what she could have ever imagined her life would be like – what more for her and her broken heart? I listened to a little girl describe the relationship she used to have through slow un-slurred speech and with the clarity of ...

It really took a good friend's past lover's suicide to get me to sit down and write. And share my thoughts on this very tragic topic that not many people are aware is out there. As I shared dinner with my girlfriend and finally caught up after so long as we had not not seen each other in over a year, it was heart-breaking to hear what she had been through. And while I sat and listened to her, it made me appreciate what I've been through as well as my family and made me realize just how good of a thing I have. And I took a moment to reflect and be thankful that I wasn't in her shoes because while I have been through so much in the last couple of months, a single girl in her shoes would be like "WTF?!". After all things are said and done though, and after you hear her story, you too will not only feel that she got the short end of the stick. She met a man who she thought was a good man. But he turned out to be her "heroin" - her drug of choic...