Shattered Core
It really took a good friend's past lover's suicide to get me to sit down and write. And share my thoughts on this very tragic topic that not many people are aware is out there.
As I shared dinner with my girlfriend and finally caught up after so long as we had not not seen each other in over a year, it was heart-breaking to hear what she had been through. And while I sat and listened to her, it made me appreciate what I've been through as well as my family and made me realize just how good of a thing I have. And I took a moment to reflect and be thankful that I wasn't in her shoes because while I have been through so much in the last couple of months, a single girl in her shoes would be like "WTF?!". After all things are said and done though, and after you hear her story, you too will not only feel that she got the short end of the stick.
She met a man who she thought was a good man. But he turned out to be her "heroin" - her drug of choice, despite knowing how bad he was for her. Now, she is scarred for life and irreparably damaged from a broken heart and the last gift he gave her - a venereal disease; Herpes.
She met a man who she thought was a good man. But he turned out to be her "heroin" - her drug of choice, despite knowing how bad he was for her. Now, she is scarred for life and irreparably damaged from a broken heart and the last gift he gave her - a venereal disease; Herpes.
Nothing says "I love you more than life itself" than finding out that the guy you had let into your life, into your bed and heart left you with not only a broken heart but a disease for life which is not as close to a curse as some others but just as bad - depending on which way you look at things. There are a lot of other worse diseases out there but Herpes is definitely up there in the top rankings (in my opinion).
A boy battled by demons from the sounds of it from a very young age, turned into a man with an obsession with guns, alcoholism, women and became an incessant pathological liar that not only was the major reason behind the demise of his one solid relationship from a woman and my friend who would have given him anything, but also most possibly the reason behind his death. When I sat down with my friend for dinner, I could see just how broken she is over this ordeal and while we laughed and joked about the crazy shit he used to put her through and this "final gift", in my mind I couldn't stop myself from thinking "this poor girl...what now for her?" It's hard enough for a woman to find a good and loving partner who accepts her as she is..flaws and all..but it takes a special kind of someone to accept a partner with their flaws and Herpes. It really has to be a special bond in order for that relationship to work and like I said to her, "be upfront with the guy if you believe he is the real deal, and let him know early on because if you don't, it will never work". As scared as she was and I'm sure is at the prospect of finding happiness in the unknown future, she is attempting to embrace life and the silver lining of her life - a new job and getting reacquainted with her old city - that things will look up from this moment on. Hard as it may be, especially as she continues to find out that he "re-gifted" this non-refundable gift to other women in mutual social circles, she struggles with the ache of their last conversation which somwhat predicted his actions but only to someone who knew him on a personal level.
When I think about her situation and everything that has happened to her, especially with this man who hurt and betrayed her like he did and put her in a life situation she will always have him to thank for (all this baggage!!!!! *screaming*), I am able to appreciate more what I have in my life. My relationship with my boyfriend can be tumultuous at times like all relationships can be but at the end of it all, he is there for me and I for him through all the bullshit we go through - good and bad. I can appreciate the time we spend together after spending weeks apart because it is that much more heightened by our feelings and the moments we have together. I appreciate the simplicity of everything in the relationship and the fact that I can trust him without any reservations.
What did I learn from this whole experience?
Herpes is a stigma that will stay with you for life. It is not as deadly as HIV/AIDS but if you end up with it, you will be devasted as you will have this "thing" with you forever. I have gotten myself educated on prevention methods and am in the process of making sure that I have the best chances of never being in such a position. My boyfriend understands my concerns and is willing to get protected. Having his support means alot and going through this together shows me that he is willing to put in the effort to make this work.
Herpes:
If you don't know much about it, get some information and protect yourself and your loved ones. Do not be ignorant and think you won't get it. Sometimes you just never know where your partner has been so do you and get protected.
http://www.gardasil.com/
http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm
A boy battled by demons from the sounds of it from a very young age, turned into a man with an obsession with guns, alcoholism, women and became an incessant pathological liar that not only was the major reason behind the demise of his one solid relationship from a woman and my friend who would have given him anything, but also most possibly the reason behind his death. When I sat down with my friend for dinner, I could see just how broken she is over this ordeal and while we laughed and joked about the crazy shit he used to put her through and this "final gift", in my mind I couldn't stop myself from thinking "this poor girl...what now for her?" It's hard enough for a woman to find a good and loving partner who accepts her as she is..flaws and all..but it takes a special kind of someone to accept a partner with their flaws and Herpes. It really has to be a special bond in order for that relationship to work and like I said to her, "be upfront with the guy if you believe he is the real deal, and let him know early on because if you don't, it will never work". As scared as she was and I'm sure is at the prospect of finding happiness in the unknown future, she is attempting to embrace life and the silver lining of her life - a new job and getting reacquainted with her old city - that things will look up from this moment on. Hard as it may be, especially as she continues to find out that he "re-gifted" this non-refundable gift to other women in mutual social circles, she struggles with the ache of their last conversation which somwhat predicted his actions but only to someone who knew him on a personal level.
When I think about her situation and everything that has happened to her, especially with this man who hurt and betrayed her like he did and put her in a life situation she will always have him to thank for (all this baggage!!!!! *screaming*), I am able to appreciate more what I have in my life. My relationship with my boyfriend can be tumultuous at times like all relationships can be but at the end of it all, he is there for me and I for him through all the bullshit we go through - good and bad. I can appreciate the time we spend together after spending weeks apart because it is that much more heightened by our feelings and the moments we have together. I appreciate the simplicity of everything in the relationship and the fact that I can trust him without any reservations.
What did I learn from this whole experience?
Herpes is a stigma that will stay with you for life. It is not as deadly as HIV/AIDS but if you end up with it, you will be devasted as you will have this "thing" with you forever. I have gotten myself educated on prevention methods and am in the process of making sure that I have the best chances of never being in such a position. My boyfriend understands my concerns and is willing to get protected. Having his support means alot and going through this together shows me that he is willing to put in the effort to make this work.
Herpes:
If you don't know much about it, get some information and protect yourself and your loved ones. Do not be ignorant and think you won't get it. Sometimes you just never know where your partner has been so do you and get protected.
http://www.gardasil.com/
http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm
Comments
Post a Comment