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Showing posts from March, 2014

Opening Horizons

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Taking trips to broaden one's horizons and perspective on life is something that any one of us should do. We should all take the chance to to discover what else is out there and fall in love with the rest of the world. And with yourself as you discover who you are. I took a trip recently which opened my eyes to the person I have always known was in me ... but had long forgotten when the rest of my life took over and consumed me. I let life consume me because I was not sure what else I was doing or what else I was meant to be doing. For a time I forgot who I really was ... the girl who had grown out of her insecurities and naivety and become the woman who had been taken to death's door and came back and realized just how precious life is and just how much one should cherish it.  My last  trip took me to a place where I discovered the life I have always thought and dreamt about but was always out of reach. And what surprised me was how much in love I fell with it. I f...

Release

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I was overcome by emotion. A tidal wave of tears, fears and a confused ball of all things that add to the pressures of being a woman. Feelings I'd been trying to hold on to and reign in for so long had finally taken over. And all it took for the camel's back to be broken was the hair- raising moment of realizing that my relationship could be over and it would be my doing. This year has been one hell of a ride from January 1st. It has been a non-stop ride and while I am grateful, sometimes I wish it would slow down. Just for a little longer than a minute so that I could appreciate, smell the essence of life and be able to fully realize what had just come to pass. But life isn't like the most of the time. Actually, life is not like that at all. Unless you somehow lose control of all time-telling devices and yourself and you just stop thinking about anyone else and focus on you. You listen and you breathe and realize that you are your own reckoning. You are the reaso...

Are you Living or are you Exisiting?

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"When Charlotte died, it brought a lot of hurt, tears and a lot of questions. I remember after my second child was born, she asked me "Alice Evans", as only she could say my name, she say "are you living or are you exisiting?" I didn't get what she was saying at the time, but this morning I could hear her voice asking me that same question again. "Are you living or are you exisitng?" It's funny what your mind goes back to when you are grieving. I told her after my girls were older, I would start having more fun. Then it was after my children went off to college. Then it was after I helped with my grand-baby. I would tell her "my children need me!!" But what I found in all these years of living is, no matter how much love and support you give your children, they are still human beings. And you are not their only influence. I have spent my entire life giving it  away. I think i'ma keep the rest of it for me. Death...