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Showing posts from September, 2014

Forgive. Never Forget.

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As a write this, I hope you come to understand that the only way to set one free is through forgiveness. It took me many sleepless nights as I sifted through everything that happened and basically accepted, dealt and started to heal so that I could move forward. For me, your apology was insulting and hurtful. And most importantly, I felt that you desecrated my safe haven - my escape from all the bullshit and everything that sometimes makes my life unbearable. You used it against me. And lied. Point blank in black font. Or whatever you may want to call it if not lied. Bend the truth even...? For me, I am dealing and as aforementioned, starting to heal. But in order to make sure I am on the right path I needed you to know that I forgive you. I forgive you for what you did and your part in all of this. I too am aware that I played my part, but what you did to me just proved everything I had for so long tried to fight. Ndakakurambira...and then it blew up in my face. I can...

Destroyed

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I wonder how someone could do that. To do what you did. But then again, one can never teach an old dog new tricks. I wonder why I thought I could change you. Change the person you had so long shown me to be. I gave you the benefit of the doubt when I should have wiped you clean out of my life. Now I am the one picking up your mess. Mending my bruised heart. Dealing with all the emotional baggage I want answers to questions I replay in my mind - daily. How could you? You snake. A tortured soul that seeks awakening. I soldier on, hoping for that moment. The moment when all things are clear.

I Shouldn't. But I do.

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Words fail me at a time that I need them the most. So, tonight I will let music speak for me. Lyrics with meaning. Felt deep within me.