Forgive. Never Forget.

As a write this, I hope you come to understand that the only way to set one free is through forgiveness. It took me many sleepless nights as I sifted through everything that happened and basically accepted, dealt and started to heal so that I could move forward.

For me, your apology was insulting and hurtful. And most importantly, I felt that you desecrated my safe haven - my escape from all the bullshit and everything that sometimes makes my life unbearable. You used it against me. And lied. Point blank in black font. Or whatever you may want to call it if not lied. Bend the truth even...?

For me, I am dealing and as aforementioned, starting to heal. But in order to make sure I am on the right path I needed you to know that I forgive you. I forgive you for what you did and your part in all of this. I too am aware that I played my part, but what you did to me just proved everything I had for so long tried to fight. Ndakakurambira...and then it blew up in my face. I can't even lie about that. But through all that transpired, I forgive you. I whole-heartedly forgive you.

I found the strength in God and his words. I asked for forgiveness; for myself and for you. And in the comfort of his house of worship, and in my own space, I continuously find comfort in knowing that He is there with me always. I went to see Joel and Victoria Osteen when they came to my city during their "A Night of Hope" tour, and Joel said some things that brought me to tears and to my feet. Most importantly, begin each day like it's a new day and leave all the bullshit of yesterday behind and secondly, forgive those who hurt you because it takes twice as much to hate than it does to smile. He spoke about many things that resonated with me but when he spoke about forgiveness and each new day, I needed to reach out. I couldn't live with this weight - chigodo - in my heart any longer. I just couldn't. I needed you to know so that I could move on and know that I told you. So that I could continue on this path of healing.

I hope that in your darkness, you will find the light soon if you have not already found it. I really hope you are okay.

Psalm 130

Find strength in the Lord, because with him all things are possible.


At a time that I would have given "My All" - Mariah Carey, I would give all of me now to never have known you. You drained me time and time again. But this is it. I'm done.