Musings by Shar

Taking a break from this part right now. - xo

Dear You, I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what exactly is going on with you, but to no avail - I still don't have the answer. I have never tried to understand the inner workings of the male mind, but I thought that for once - just this once - I might be able to understand what exactly is going on. After all, we are all human. And we have feelings. But nothing.  If I was the friend - the shoulder - who had been listening to me while I try to comprehend everything that has happened in the last few months, I (friend) would be telling me to cut my losses, let it go and move on because you don't deserve me. And I deserve better. But no one can say that, because they don't know what we shared or what we supposedly shared, or what it was like to be in that thing. I have scrutinized emails and conversations once had in the hopes that there was something you said that I could cling on to for a little longer. Something to hold onto during these co...

I'd give anything just for 5 minutes. 5 minutes. To hear your voice. To hear your smile touch your eyes and your infections laughter. Oh what a sound. To hear you say my name.  The thought has crossed my mind. What it would mean for me to just press dial and hear it ring with the hope that you would answer. That you would know it was me. And every time I have stopped myself for fear of rejection. Again. I've never needed a release as much as I do now. I bare my soul to you and despite everything, I'm so quick to forgive. Why? Because I love intensely. Why? Because you are as true to my heart as you were on February 22, 2014.  To be vulnerable is to be honest and true to one's heart and it's desires.  I love with my whole self. I love with all that I am with the hope that despite the fear of getting hurt, you will not bring hurt to my heart and break what is yours. February 22, 2014. That's the day we came full circle. That's the day you became a...