Musings by Shar

And I am so "pro-make-do" but not at 1:30am and someone on the other side of the phone happens to mention that the "love you" and then silence. wtf?! I am not a whore or a woman who plays games with men. But this came way out of left field and knocked the wind out of me. And then I told him I had to go. He wasn't impressed. But he did have a few nice parting words which definitely made me smile as I resumed my position in my bed where it happens to just "be warmer now that I am alone" - Thanks Kelly!

With Spring comes the hope for something new...

Don't lie to me and then say..."but I mentioned her". If you had mentioned her like you did the other women I knew about then I wouldn't be calling you a liar. I'm not crazy or stupid or idiotic. I know what you told me and she was not one of the things you talked about. He down-played all the other girls that he told me about and made it seem like I had nothing to worry about. And then out of nowhere, coming in from the left field..Caroline just happened. It changed at Christmas. Like, WTF does that mean now?!! We spoke over the Christmas season and he said NOTHING to me. This guy knew everything about me...down to what colour my underwear was if he asked that day. And then he just apparently "forgot"  to mention her every time we spoke. That's some Bullshit right there. I am not stupid but he makes me look like a fool now. I told him everything! EVERYTHING about what was going on with me and the one thing that he promised he would never do......

I finally realized why I am upset with the recent events that took place especially with the one guy who was more than just my best friend. When he told me about his new girlfriend in a text message because he was afraid something would show up on Facebook from the past weekend, it hadn't sunk in yet but after weeks of thinking things through, I understand (I think) why it hurt so much. It hurt because he was the one guy who told me that he would never hurt me and that I could trust him. And for years, while all the other douchebags had lied, cheated and broken my heart, he was the one constant in my life. Until he did all those things to me. He lied by omission - while he told me about the other women that were propositioning him and were wanting to hook-up with him, he never mentioned her at all. He cheated - by using words and acting like the man I was looking for all my life. He abused the trust and our friendship when he chose to lie and as a result, cheat me into thinking tha...

As much as I want to hate him, I would break the law for him. This song captures my emotions in a way that even shocks me. And it hurts to know that.

I wake up everyday hoping that I was dreaming the events of the last 3 months. But then reality sets in when I take a look around and I realize that I need to physically get out of bed and get ready because if I don't move, I'm seriously just going to fall asleep. So I wake up. And then I get ready for the day. I try to be optimistic but sometimes you can only be optimistic for a given time. And being the person that I am, it absolutely kills me because I have always been an optimistic person. But as of lately...life has just been dealing me a bad hand. Or to be more accurate, men have been the worst. I've never been a girl who needs a guy to "complete" her but this has been utter B.S!!! 3 guys in the space of 4 months... and 2 good friends (guys) who decide they are suddenly ready to be with me! Like seriously, a bad hand or what?!! I would have never been opposed to dating my guy friends especially since our friendship came first. But now, I have to do a dou...

Baby when its cold outside I'll throw a log on the fire unplug the phone and computer focus on you, my one and only desire. Let go of your inhibitions, let down your hair, I will tend to your soul... your mind... your body... ...make sure they are lavished with care. A woman like you needs to be touched and held close experience intense intimate moments lovingly kissed like a rose. Satin sheets on the bed I'll be the lover for your soul you alone light my fire, I will hold back no more. Tonight I'm yours Passion Flower let's create poetry in your bed, from embracing, kissing, caressing and beyond leave your accounts, finance etc for another day tonight you need to be fed.

Dearest _________ (I still see you as __________, and that will never change) I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to you simply because I could not get hold of you (I don't really write emails/letters addressing issues) and I understand you are busy with school, exams as well as you should have time to yourself, time for a goodnight's sleep ..etc AND I have something heavy on my heart that has to be said, communicated, understood and I feel that if I wait till I talk to you next most of what I have to say would have eroded away ( some has already) and you need to hear me say it and not let it just be assumed. Firstly, you are precious, immaculate and special in more ways than I will ever know. Secondly,in order for me to be "nice" to you , you do not have to/NEED to send me a picture of your sexy, curvacious and enticing body. I respect you and I love the grace with which you carry yourself and in that we are equals or rather you are mor...