I cant see them coming down my eyes.

Growth.  I had finally realized that the girl I loved didn’t love me back. She didn’t feel for me what I had felt for her for so long; or if she did, she did a really good job of hiding it. I needed to grow, to understand that sometimes no matter how much you love something you have to let it go. It’s impossible to will anything into existence, and as I quickly learnt; not even love is an exception.

It’s hard to fully accept the confines of a hard decision sometimes; it’s easy to think that a little extra push might be all that is missing. Maybe she'll realize how much I’ve changed, maybe a funnier joke, maybe if I listened more... but reality sets in.

For the longest time I had gone around preaching how much I had changed, how I was a different man. Grown up, mature, wiser and a bit more knowledgeable. But as I let go I learnt even more lessons about life and true growth. Understanding that in life letting go is not giving up, choosing to find our own happiness is not a betrayal to those that we hoped would find happiness in us. No quicker had I let go did I fall in love again. I fell in love all over again with someone that had been so dear to me, but this time as friends; true friends. As I stepped away and opened my heart to someone else, I did so with the knowledge that I had no regrets. I had tried everything I could; I lost a lot but gained so much more. I had a friend, someone really close to me. I had also found happiness in my heart, and so did someone else.

Today I realized that my persistence almost ruined the most perfect thing that could’ve happened to me; my love for one person transformed into love for myself, and along with it I gained a friend and loads of happiness.

I’ll always miss what we had, but I’m absolutely sure that I’ll love what lies ahead even more.