Naked self. Baring all for me. Unearthing my inner core. Even for all of 60 seconds.
Learning to Speak
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"Accepting everything that's happened with us, understanding what stage of our relationship (in this case, friendship) that we are at, and the willingness to go forward ..." is what someone said to me this evening that I wanted to share.
Referring back to a previous blog entry where I mentioned, " I see the hope and the new foundations of our friendship ..." had a resonating beat in the heart of a love lost. Not revealing who my "Muse" is, I have to thank them for teaching me a lesson and making me believe that not all is lost.
For you I write, "A torch I once carried is not lost but buried under the rumble of life's events that led us to this moment. I walked away to give you the opportunity you deserved to open your heart to someone who is more deserving of a love so great that even I can't hold in its encompassing magnitude. Believe me though when I say, while I let you go, it was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make".
You are a reminder to me of the good that is possible. And the feelings of unrequited love at its truest form. Of sharing myself with you. Of you sharing yourself with me. How I wonder what that day would have felt like if we had .. if we had felt each other .. naked and vulnerable.
To have sat across from you for 60 minutes; 3,600 seconds ... out of the 24 hours. To laugh and just be present for a moment, would have made this full circle. However, I understand the hesitancy and the decision to retract the invitation the other night. We will always have the moments that make up our story. I just wanted one more to mark the finale of this book. You standing in some of my favourite spots in my city will have to do. This weekend, I will make sure to take in the seawall with a different perspective, knowing that you stood there not too long ago.
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